Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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