so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
