so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
