I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
