I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
