well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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