Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
