shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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