She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
