WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
