i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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