everyone is single if you try hard enough
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
