I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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