You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
