i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
