So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
