Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
