there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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