First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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