If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
