3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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