So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
