"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
