Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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