I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
