Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
