week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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