I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
