Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
