He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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