Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
