peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
one might say we're banned from that church
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Reggie can tackle my bush.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
