Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
