i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
