Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
smell my finger.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
