I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
