Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
