Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
