Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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