Betty ford says i'm here all night
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
