meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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