So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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