Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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