"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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