At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
