Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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