we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
