We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
