her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
