found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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