That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
