No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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