you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I stole a fireplace last night.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
